MY MOM - AN HOMAGE
Since I left Montreal to travel with my man, what I miss the most is being with our families to celebrate important milestones. This Sunday is Mother's Day, and for the first time ever, I won't be able to celebrate with my mom. So instead, I decided to write something as a tribute to my mother, to commemorate some of our best moments together and to shine a light on the things we have in common.
Like (almost) every girl, my mom had a huge impact on my upbringing and the person I became as an adult.
At first sight, my mother and I are very different. When I was a teenager I used to be really annoyed at the fact that she didn't really like fashion and she never wore makeup. To be clear, my mom like to dress well and look good. She just didn't share my insane passion for clothes and didn't understand why someone would pay 2000$ for a bag. She even said that designer clothes are for "snobs". As someone who studied fashion design and worshiped Anna Wintour, this used to piss me off so much. But then again, I was a teenager. So being pissed at my mom was just second nature.
Now that I'm older, I actually understand. Sure, she doesn't share my crazy passion for fashion, but she is right when she says that you don't need to have a 2000$ bag to be stylish. When I was still living with her, every time I'd come home with something new, her first question would be "How much was it?". Annoying AF, right? For my teenage self, yes. But fuck, she was right.
When I got my first electricity bill, I finally understood why she was so careful with money. Mostly because living is expensive as shit, but also because my mother always preferred travelling to having the latest handbag in style.
Speaking of style, one of my first style memory goes back to my mom. I remember, when I was a kid, she would wear a gold anklet and I remember thinking it was so shiny and beautiful... Also, it was something I had never seen on another mom. I thought she was so special. Today, I have a few gold anklets that I love to wear, just like her. I started wearing them last year, when the beach became my home, and it wasn't after a few weeks of wearing them that I was reminded of my mom's. Now, when I look at my own anklet, I'm always reminded of my mom, and excuse me for sounding cheesy, but it makes them really special.
My mom also wore crop tops in the 90's, way before Britney and Christina made them popular. I remember When I was super young, she had a striped sailor-style crop top and two gingham crop tanks, one in navy and one in red. I have such vivid, fond memories of these clothes, and they're actually pieces I would wear today. Truth is, in the 90's, my mom was a total babe!
And even though she doesn't really ever wear makeup, my first makeup memories also come from her. At Christmas, one of the few occasions she would wear makeup for, she used to wear winged black liquid eyeliner. I was maybe 5 or 6, and watching her draw that long, fine line was fascinating to me. I wanted to wear one too, and she didn't see a problem with it, so she would draw me one just like hers. That's probably when I understood the power makeup can have, because I felt like such a grown up.
Today, putting makeup on a 5 year old would be considered by many as hyper-sexualization and inappropriate. In the 90's, before the internet was a thing and social media wasn't even a thought, this wasn't such a concept people were discussing so much. And back then, people weren't offended by a stiff breeze. But I know it wouldn't have made a difference. Even if people cared, I would have been wearing that black eyeliner for Christmas anyway. Because my mom never cared about conventions or what other people thought.
She always did things the way she thought was the best, really marching to the beat of her own drum. If she didn't see a problem with me doing something, then no matter what other people said, it was OK. She really taught me to be just like that, without really realizing it, I think.
Another thing I got from her is how strong-willed and stubborn I am. She used to make fun of me for it, but over the years, we've established that she's almost as bad as I am... And we both get it from my grandfather, no doubt about that. He is arguably the most stubborn, hard-headed man on Earth.
And I love that my mom is so stubborn. If she wasn't, my life would definitely have been very different. When she was barely 20, she left Hungary with her husband to immigrate to Canada. They were poor, young, didn't have any connections there and didn't speak the language. And Hungarian isn't exactly close to French or English. Shortly after, she had a baby. And when that baby was a few months old, her husband left her for another girl. So she was left alone, with no family, in a foreign country, with a shitty job and no money. But she decided to suck it up and stay, because she knew her child would have a much better life and much more opportunity that way.
You've probably guessed it, that baby was me. And even though I would have loved to grow up in Hungary, with grandparents, cousins, uncles and aunts, I can really appreciate today that life in North America is much easier than in eastern Europe. It's also her decision to stay that allowed her to meet the man I call dad, who's also my sister's father. So basically, if my mom wasn't so stubborn, my life would be insanely different today.
When I grew up, at least in the early years, my mom didn't have much money. Times were hard, but I can't remember that. All I know from that time is what she told me about it. And all I remember, really, is being loved.
When I was a kid, I remember my mom spent hours playing with me. One of my favourite childhood memory was when my mom and I made a giant board game from scratch, on a huge piece of cardboard. She drew the entire thing and I coloured it as best as I could. The pieces were 3D princesses, and there was a big castle, each square being a different flower. We were creating things together, wether it was board games, clothes for my dolls, drawing, etc.
My mom is amazing at drawing... At any arts & crafts actually. Ever since my earliest memories, I can remember her drawing, painting, making candles, dried flowers arrangements (it was cool in the 90's) and sewing clothes. There's no doubt that's where I get it from. When she was younger, her dream was to study graphic design, but she had to let it go because she had a baby and working freelance contracts when you're a single mom isn't exactly a safe choice. So basically, I ruined her life, ha! (she hates when I say that!).
She worked in childcare instead, and after many years, worked her way to the top as a director. For an immigrant woman under 35, that's quite an achievement if you ask me. Fast forward to now, after more than 20 years, my mom decided she had enough. She decided to go for her dreams at almost 50, and to go back to school, to study what she really loves and go after her dream.
My mom is not even 50 yet, so she's not an old woman by any stretch of imagination, especially not by 2018's standards. But to go back to school after all these years, and to abandon a comfortable lifestyle to totally reinvent herself and pursue her passion? That's truly inspiring to me, and I am immensely proud of my mom for doing that. She is the living proof that it's never too late to be who you wanna be, and that no matter what the price is, you can always go after what you want, as long as you're willing to put in the work.
My mom and I have been through a lot, including differences, mostly because we're both so stubborn and see things our own way. But I have a lot of admiration for everything she accomplished and the way she raised me to be who I am today.
I really wanted to take this opportunity to wish her, and all other moms out there, a really happy Mother's Day.
I miss you mom, I love you. Thank you for everything.
Boldog anyák napját, kedves anyukám.